For Your Buckshot Baby

For Your Buckshot Baby

Story time.


As you know, I went to this lovely place called Hershey, PA to take my sister to med school. While there, my fishing buddy (my Aunt T) and I happened upon the most magnificent store we had ever seen. Outdoor World.

It was like a Mecca to every hiking-boot-wearing, spider-knife-toting, sunscreen-smearing backpacker out there.

One problem- you had to check your firearms and bows at the door. There was a sign. Hey- rules are rules.

Once inside, Aunt T and I grabbed hands like kids entering Disneyland. Right inside there was a two-story fish tank of the biggest fish I had ever seen. They had labels- like the New England Aquarium- of all the fish and had scheduled feeding times where you could come and watch. On the back side of the fish-tank-masquerading-as-an-escalator, there was a two-story rock-climbing wall. They even served snacks right there in the boating department.

But Aunt T and I didn’t decide we wanted to actually move there until we found the fishing department. The space had to be at least 2,000 square feet, with four isles of hooks alone- in each of the freshwater and saltwater departments. Did I mention the entire place was wood-cabin decorated with stuffed road kill (I don’t know my hunting terms…and really don’t want to learn.)?

They even had furniture. Now, we have to be careful about this. As my not-so-excited-to-be-there Mom pointed out, there were people sitting on the couches in deciding-whether-to-buy poses. Instead, I will just be descriptive.

Couches! Wait, what couch? What couch am I referring to? Oh, THAT couch. The one you couldn’t see because it is a deep-cover leaf-imprinted camouflage couch complete with matching hard-to-find pillows. Hard-to-find if you, say, planned to put your brand new couch in the woods surrounding your house.


Oh, wait! There are matching his-and-her sheet sets for adults, children, and even the baby! Yes, your brand new baby girl can sleep in pink leaf-patterned crib sheet set, with matching turkey mini-blind pulls.

No word on the thread count.

My mom dragged my aunt and I out of there before heading upstairs to the hunting department (and frankly, we were a little scared to go up there anyway.) But next time, it is on my to-do list. If for nothing else but to take a gander at the folks picking out duck-adorned serving ware.


Note: I really did love this store and am stoked to go back and spend another $100 on fishing stuff. But, oh the places we’ll go.